For every sick leave, I feel like I'm moving closer to the termination, step by step. After all, my work doesn't have any progress at all while I'm off. And this slowdown should cost in some ways.

Probably the question is: How much does it cost? Getting the termination might be a bit of an exaggeration for now, but I should at least expect lower performance rating. Although it isn't great for me, it would be a fair treatment. Hard working teammates would go elsewhere otherwise.

I feel vulnerable when I take a sick leave. I didn't feel that way before. That's not only because I took a lot less, but also because I had some "territory" in the project. I yet to have established such one in my current team. In other words, I haven't proven myself yet. I hope I can do that soon. However.

For every sick leave, I feel that such a moment moves away from me. It's a desperate feeling.